The Expression of Love

Words

Verbally expressing your love for someone is the both easiest and the most difficult thing to do.

It is one of the bravest acts in this world because sometimes it will end in rejection, a pain which stabs so thoroughly at the most vulnerable spot in your body: the heart.When you tell them you love them, you are laying yourself bare and opening yourself to the possibility of being hurt. However, it can also be instantly gratifying if they love you back, and that feeling is the most rewarding.
 
Actions

Expressing your love through actions - and by this I don't mean hugs or hand holding - is difficult and easy in entirely different ways.

It is easy in the way that you are not directly opening yourself up to possible rejection. However, because the range of things that people do for their loved ones is so broad, the love is very hard to identify. Being misunderstood is even sometimes worse than being outright rejected. Although, if one does show his love through action, it can be even more sincere than words. Often times, actions do speak louder than words because while it may take a lot of courage to verbally confess, the effect is instantaneous. Actions on the other hand require a great deal of effort over an undefined period of time.

The Perfect Balance

True love cannot be one or the other; it needs to be a mix of both. Sometimes words are necessary to reaffirm your love when actions are too vague. Other times actions are more genuine and convey more strength than the words "I love you."

Claude Monet's Impression, Sunrise

At dawn, the fishing village is in a sleepy quiet as it sits
on the cool waters that are not yet warm from the rising sun
that slowly emerges from the depths of the sea and into
the misty, gray sky. Even with the light of daybreak
it's still too dark outside, and the boats look like mere
shadows floating along the waves. It's far too early for him
to be out of bed, he thinks, half-dozing with his back
against the side of their small fishing boat. The air is still cold
and damp, and he wouldn't be out here in the first place
if his big brother hadn't asked for his company. He'd much
rather be wrapped up in his warm sheets, waiting for the
warmth of the afternoon sun, lost in his sea of dreams. But
then he's all too awake because he suddenly remembers.
Today is the last day they will ever be like this because tomorrow
his brother will be gone. His bags will be packed and their
cramped room that smells like the sea will be stripped
and empty on one side. His brother will be gone because
he has chosen to leave him, their parents - everyone - far,
far behind for something bigger, better. They were
never good enough for his all big talk of ambitions, dreams,
and futures. A part of him resents him for it and probably
always will...but as he looks up at his brother who is standing tall
at the steer of their little, rocking boat like the mast of a majestic ship,
and he also understands - he understands
there is nothing in this sleepy, little town for his big brother.
His big brother who is tall, broad-shouldered, and determined
can't live forever in a place shrouded by fog, a place that
can never truly see the sun. And then he wants to apologize.
His brother knows he's angry - that's why he asked him to
accompany him this morning - but it's not so much that he's angry
- maybe a little jealous - but mostly scared and sad that
the person closest to him will have already vanished by this time
tomorrow. He doesn't know what to say or do because
he suddenly feels stupid and embarrassed and so overcome
with the world that all he wants to do is to sob like a
little boy waiting for his big brother to comfort him. But he can't
because he feels frozen as if he's glued to his seat, and he can
barely breathe, let along speak. He wonders if his brother
feels the same, if he's just as nervous and scared and maybe
a little pained at the thought of leaving him too. But his big brother
continues to stand motionless at his side as he continues to sit
and ruminate in silence, dreading tomorrow, the day when
everything will change.  

Redefining Identity

When I say ABC, I don't mean the alphabet. 

Like Amy Tan, I am American Born Chinese -ABC for short - but I've never had an issue with my culture like she did.

As child and even now, I experience a fear of being the same as everyone else. Whether it was clothing brands or the type of music people listened to, I tried my best to deviate from the norm and away from the uniformity of the masses. Well, you can guess how that turned out. As hard as I tried, there were just some things that couldn't be avoided. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hipster; I just don't want to blend in and be a clone of everyone else. Of course this fear has lessened over the years, but I've always been proud of my Chinese background because it set me apart from the majority. I embraced my culture because of the taste of the foods, the rapid sound of mandarin, the ancient folk tales, and the vivid colors of silk qi paos. They were magical, and they made me feel special.  

Attending Troy High, a school that is so diverse, has subdued the uniqueness of being Chinese; but nonetheless, I still treasure my background. It is a part of my identity, something I cannot change and would never want to. That's why Amy Tan's outlook in "Fish Cheeks" was so shocking. I realized I couldn't relate to her, but instead, I could relate to her mother.


My Little Brother

My little brother, unlike me, is half Chinese and half Caucasian. He struggles with his Chinese heritage in a ways that I never had. He cares little for the food, dislikes the language, and bores easily at the same folk tales I found so mesmerizing. Everything I find so alluring about my culture he sees as dull. One day, he even went so far as to proclaim, "I'm not Chinese. I'm American."

Often times, I found myself angry at him for tossing aside his culture so easily and carelessly. I just couldn't fathom how he could just completely reject a part of himself like that. Now, however, I think I'm beginning to see how difficult it must be for him. He's different from others in the way that he has not one identity, but two. He's not completely Chinese, but he's not truly "American" either. I know he must feel this conflict within him, but I wonder if he's conscious of it.

I can only hope that with time he will grow to love his Chinese background like I do. As for me, I'll be there for him every step of the way. 

Our Perception of Beauty

The Beautiful Mannequins 

Without rambling on and on about every flicker of emotion I felt in class while watching the exceptional and moving video - do you see this? I can barely contain myself - I'm just going to put it simply by saying that it was truly beautiful and awe-inspiring. I also want to give kudos to everyone who made a contribution to the video, especially the store that agreed to put the revamped mannequins on display for all the world to see. Honestly, I'm deeply impressed.

That aside, the video brought some interesting thoughts to mind. It was apparent in the video that there were more than a few onlookers who were less than partial to the disabled mannequins that replaced the previous ones. While some turned away in disgust, others chose to stand by and mock them. Why? Why do people turn away when a disabled person comes into their field of vision? Why do we hide them from our eyes as if we were ashamed? Why do we think they're ugly?



I would love to have all the answers to these questions. I would love to say that our skewed perception of beauty has been learned, that we have been conditioned into seeing them as undesirable, unattractive, unsightly. It would be easy for me to blame the centuries of misguided views, the media, and to say that it's because of them that this disregard for the disabled has become so deeply imbedded into the darkest corners of our minds. However, it isn't that simple. Beauty in the eye of the beholder may not be as subjective as we like to think. There have been studies that have shown humans are more likely to find others attractive if there is a strong semblance of symmetry. The more symmetrical a person's body and face are, the more people will find him beautiful. So maybe we're not as "brainwashed" as we believed. Maybe some parts of our perception of beauty is unlearned and part of human nature. Would it really be correct to condemn ourselves for feeling unsettled when looking at a disabled person?

A New Perspective

However we choose to view beauty and whether we're to blame or not, I think it's time we moved passed that. Let's stop focusing so much emphasis -both good and bad - on the handicaps' disability and focus more on their other qualities. I think it is time we take a step forward and recognize them for something other than what they are hindered by.
Don't you?